First of all, since I haven't written again in so long time, I hope you're all doing well because I'm doing so well! The recovery is still moving uphill after my breakdown and I have found peace in my studies and understood what my direction is. By the way, six years ago, when I was studying software engineering, the perception was the same. So why did I move on from it to sports at that time? It remains a mystery, although I do have an opinion on it. Namely, life knew that I needed to understand the human body on a deeper level and that writing code would not help me recover from a stroke. Basically, life said, "Wait with the code - you need to know the human body soon, go and learn it - the code can wait!" And the code waited! I can safely say that if I had not gone to study as a personal trainer, I would not be even close to recovery where I am today.
But to the point. I wrote this post about a month ago. But those who know me better know that I will never post an article right away. It will start to marinate in its own juices. I'll read it over and over again and rephrase it until it's ready for your eyes.
This time, however, it happened that as soon as I ‘vomited’ the words out on paper (in my case computer screen), everything started to change. It was as if I had kept it to myself, I didn't acknowledge the situation and I didn't let the changes to happen. So here's a lesson and a reminder for everyone…
If something bothers you, acknowledge it and write all your thoughts on a piece of paper or type them in and see how life will start working wonders.
Although it is no longer relevant, I thought I would post it anyway, because maybe someday it would happen again, or maybe some people can identify with it or learn how and how not to behave. So what was bothering my heart?
Some time ago, my high school classmate asked me if it was annoying that I was being investigated about stroke all the time and that I had to talk about it non-stop and my answer was no. That I'm used to it and that I understand that people are curious and that I probably would be, too. Without realizing that something was bothering me. Until just a few months ago, when I started talking with one person online who knew nothing about me! He didn't know me before the stroke and for him, I was a bright white sheet. I was able to discuss various topics again at length. It was… REFRESHING! And then I realized that wow, I've only been talking to people about one topic all this time and that there's a lot more in life to talk about than my stroke. And THIS - opened my eyes.
I've been talking about stroke for a whole year and a half now. But why? I'm not a stroke. What does it mean? That I'm so much more than a person who had a stroke. So much more than a person recovering from a stroke. What do I mean by that? That you can talk to me about anything. That I like to discuss life. I know very well that people don’t talk to me about the stroke out of bad intentions and that people are interested or just polite, but please put yourself in my position for a moment. Imagine that every new person you meet or already know will start talking to you about stroke and it happens for more than a year and a half - it's really tiring and overwhelming. Don’t get me wrong, it's okay to talk about it. But please let’s move on. That should not be the end of our conversation. Have you heard of it…? What do you think about it - let's discuss it! How do phones work? What if the sucking ability of a black hole became so strong that we were sucked into it? What ever! 😁
And it's not just about me and the stroke, it's about other situations, too. Even pregnant women (at least so it came out when talking to my friend, who had only pregnancy conversations when pregnant)!
Yes, that is courtesy and we have been taught to be polite! Which is very good! And we like small talk, but if you ever find yourself in a situation like this, think about it ten times before you go into it. And if you feel that you don't really care, don't ask at all - honestly, that's fine! But if you go down that road (we really have nothing against talking about it, as I told my classmate), please move on. If the thread only moves around this one thing, it seems as if there is nothing else to talk to me about, and that makes me sad. And before you say that I should start the topic myself - honestly, I've tried. 🤓
Thank you! Stay happy! I am too! :)